We all long to love someone. We all long to be loved by someone. Its in our human nature to love and want to feel love returned to us.
As for me .. I have always been the type of girl growing up who felt I NEEDED a boyfriend. I would float around nonchalantly having crushes on guys, who deep down inside I KNEW wasn’t for me. The cycle continued through high school but during college the relationships that I encountered had a deeper impact on my life than the ones I had in middle and high school years.
I spent my sophomore, freshman, and junior of college year, running behind relationships that gave me nothing to offer. While my friends were out enjoying college. I was stuck in a room waiting for a text message from a guy back home. Relationships begin to take a tole on you if you are in one and you are not ready. My parents warned me on the dangers I faced of dating. Parents have so much more wisdom and knowledge over us but we sometimes disregard what they say and how they feel like I did on how they felt. I wanted to prove everybody wrong and make my relationships work.
Not only would I seclude myself from the world. I begin to want to do everything to make my boyfriend happy. I would go out of my way to do ANY and Everything for him. I would come home every other weekend just to see him. My grades begin to slip because I was giving my attention to things that I had no business giving them to.
God is a jealous God he does not want you to give no earthly thing more attention than we give him because nothing can love us as he has. My family and friends all begin to warn me on the dangers I had encountered, but I wouldn’t listen. Soon I found myself in a great big ball of MESS. He begin to text and call other girls, my family was constantly mad at me for the time I was spending with him, I lost friends, I had no idea my world was crashing down.
After a while I lost that relationship. I spent almost two years running back to him, begging, pleading, wanting him to give me that love that I thought I wanted. He treated me like CRAP, but I was too blind and in love to actually see it. I knew deep down in my heart that it didn’t feel right and that I needed to let go but something in me wouldn’t let me. I never got that relationship back, he used me and talk down on me and after all that crying he still chose someone else over me. Someone who my parents, family, and friends warned me about that he was seeing and I foolishly said “oh its nothing” “they’re just friends”. psshhh right.
See the thing about relationships is : IT MUST BE BLESSED BY GOD. God is the creator of all things. God should be involved in whatever you do. If you feel like you need advice or something is not right then go to GOD. Your heart must be fixed by God before you can give it to any man or woman or it will NOT WORK. He wants you to get to know him first. He wants to love you and be there for you. No man or woman can ever love you the way GOD LOVES YOU. IN due time everything will come to you when you are READY. If GOD has not set you up with a mate yet, then it is not your time. He longs for your heart and he wants to use you. He can’t use you if you’re letting someone else use you. Not only with relationships but with friendships as well. He is there for you. Go to God. If I had of listened to my gut intsinct and the guidance of people who wanted best for me, all those bad things that happended, all the depression, all the sadness could have been avoided if I would HAVE LISTENED. I would much rather have a relationship that GOD approves of than one that GOD does not. He want all of you entirely.
When I found God, I felt better about myself. I now know that I don’t need a guy to feel loved. When God is ready for that special person, he will let me know but he will also give me CONFIRMATION. I don’t want it unless it has been confirmed by God.
All Well Wishes.-CBJ